OK, I am kind of confused about a few things right now and could use some man advice. Obviously I didn’t have man problems BEFORE surgery...and the subsequent weight loss! LOL

Nevertheless, I don’t know if this is a good problem or a bad one.

Anyway, there has been someone I had initially met in person a few years ago  and recently  have been chatting with nearly every night since for some strange reason after he had tracked me down online after all this time. In addition, some of the stuff he’s said off and on had gotten my attention and I don’t know how to take what it all actually means.

Also take into consideration that we are located thousands of miles from each other, and I don’t want to mention names because I don’t want to embarrass the poor guy if he should come across this.


This first exchange came after he’d found me on the Net and we were discussing the first meeting in person, and he’d mentioned he had noticed certain things about me (that I hadn’t known about back then!):

Me: you actually remembered all that stuff from a few years ago?
Guy: just a bit :) an all natural woman is the best kind, everything about (last girl he dated) was too fake for me :P No real curves and lord knows i love curves

Me: was there something you DIDN'T notice?:)
Guy: lmaoo! was there something i wasn't supposed to notice? :)

Me: Uh yeah...I got an inkling of that about a few years ago
Guy: you did?
Me: yeah I tend to pick up on things. ;)
Guy: well, i got it from my dad

Me:I'm not even all that...at least I don't think so
Guy: you're a kickass chick


And he started again last night, right before he’d gone out with his buddies

Me: So it's Saturday night, what's a guy like you chatting with a gal like me instead of doing the town?
Guy: talking to someone with an intellectual mind.


And when we were talking about breaking his nose back in 2005 a few times:

Guy: 05 was a bad year  besides becoming (competition winner) and meeting lori

And last but not least, how the band has been working for me:

Me: I'm working on skinny long lived lifeness...not TOO skinny though

Guy: yea keep some curve :P guys love it


And when I made a joke last night that while I was being treated in the ER Friday night for a sprained ankle (I slipped on some ice), I was allowed to make some calls for a ride home and that “the doctor was cute,” he blew a raspberry at me!

Then when he logged off last night at 11:30PM my time after we chatted online for a few hours, he had ended with that his buddy was dragging him out, but “would talk to me later! hopefully still this weekend :) night xoxox”

He NEVER signed off with “xoxox” before the entire time we had been chatting online.



And from his buddy when we chatted last weekend:


Me: I was also floored on how the hell he remembered me from a few years ago when you guys meet lots of people on a daily basis.
Friend: He does, but that's why I stay inside. :D BUHAHAHA
Me:  I didn't think I was THAT special
Friend:  You'd be surprised :D
Me: Yeah?
Friend: Indeed. :D

So the burning question is, how am I supposed to interpret all of this? Is he (or even his buddy) trying to tell me something  and dancing around the subject or am I just being strange?

I am in a very confused state now...lol


_________________
*Lady Who Loves Doing PR for ASAA!*

im not sure you have a problem at all.  

just go with it and see where it takes you .  Unless you are seriously looking to re-meet this person after all this time just take it in stride.

Or communicate by e-mail (create a new address if you're worried about safety).

Chat is such a stunted method of communication.  It lacks the nonverbal cues of in-person or even telephone conversation, and it doesn't lend itself to careful, clear expression like e-mail/snail-mail writing does.  

Chat is all about instant gratification; is he chatting with you because the immediacy of it makes him feel desireable, but the superficiality of it makes him feel safe or free from responsibility?

IMHO, the only reason to keep chatting is to keep your relationship on a strictly superficial level.  You're looking for deeper meaning in terse, superficial messages; maybe you'll never find it.  If you have any interest in a (romantic or platonic) relationship with the guy, see if he'll move to a more intimate form of communication (phone or even lengthy e-mail/letters.)  If not, move on.


_________________
m_k_rich

Force the phone conversation.  You would not believe how different people are when they are typing on a keyboard.  This coming from a woman who is writing a book about her fruitless, but for the most part amuzing, Internet dating experiences.

Vicki


_________________
That which does not kill you makes you stronger-Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich must of had apnea.

Do we even know that this "friend" is actually someone else and not him?  Maybe he is using his friend (real or imaginary) to drop hints to you.  Maybe not.  The point is, it's easy for him to "stage manage" your interaction if he wants to; so far, he's succeeded at leaving you to guess at his intentions.

Chat is like whispering through a curtain.  It's time to ask him to step out from behind it.  By doing so, you're asking him to give up some of the control he's been enjoying via chat; in other words, to trust you.  Without such trust, your relationship's going nowhere anyway.  So, I'm with Vicki:  Force the issue.


_________________
m_k_rich

Hey, this is fun!  

We're all regular Anne Landers.... or Andy Landers.

The phone advice is smart.  The effort and cost to phone you has to count for something.  And voice chatting is harder, but more important.  Get to know a lot about the person.  It's not being nosy, it's about getting to know a person.  Internet can be real, but internet can be deceptive.  Take here, for example.  We can be anyone we want, show the good sides of ourselves or just be different, because we can, and people can't know the real us, not really.  We show one side of ourselves at a time, not all at once.  It's so much easier on the internet to be selective.  And it's VERY easy to misinterpret each other, whether it's friends or more intimate relationships.  No matter how good or honest we are, we can't show all of ourselves.  It seems that only time reveals all, or most.

I love m_k_rich's description, that "Chat is like whispering through a curtain."  What a wonderful description, the best I've ever heard.
(Hmmm, think I'll write a poem with that title) .... Yes, what a wonderful description.



Linda

I just got told I have severe sleep apnea... had my test about two weeks ago, but just talked with the doctor today... I never really thought I was that bad, I'm sometimes kinda tired and lack energy, but never fall asleep during normal activities, etc..

 But that's nether here nor there... I just read this posting... The topic looked interesting....

 I must say... I can not make ANY sense out of the chat/conversation that took place...   I guess my thought process is more severely effected by my sleep apnea then I thought... wow, I really don't have a clue what this  is all about...

Being this thread is pretty old...  I wonder, did LoriPA ever figure it out herself?