Hello everyone, I am new to this forum, however I am not the one diagnosed with Sleep Apnea but my father.  My family is having a very tough time with him.  About 2 years ago he went to the doctor in which they gave him the breathing machine for a week to test him for sleep apnea.  The doctor had stated that is what he had, and my father even commented on how he felt better but he hated the mask.  So after that trial session, he then never got a permenant machine.  So two years have gone by and the symptoms are just getting worse.  He cannot stay awake through work, he does not go to bed until late into the night, he has gained weight beyond belief, and he is just not my father who i know and love.  We have tried to confront him in regards to his health however he is in very strong denial.  I know he knows there is something wrong, but if you dont think you have a problem, YOU DONT.  With each month I see his health slowly getting worse, and as we confront he basically shuts us out.  Any advice from those of you on how to address this problem.  We have a friend who is a respritory therapists and we thought about having him present at the time we intervene, however I am sure my father will become confrontational.  Please any advice on how to get him to the doctor or just some words of encouragement would be greatly apprecieted.  Thank You!

XXLostXX wrote:

Hello everyone, I am new to this forum, however I am not the one diagnosed with Sleep Apnea but my father.  My family is having a very tough time with him.  About 2 years ago he went to the doctor in which they gave him the breathing machine for a week to test him for sleep apnea.  The doctor had stated that is what he had, and my father even commented on how he felt better but he hated the mask.  So after that trial session, he then never got a permenant machine.  So two years have gone by and the symptoms are just getting worse.  He cannot stay awake through work, he does not go to bed until late into the night, he has gained weight beyond belief, and he is just not my father who i know and love.  We have tried to confront him in regards to his health however he is in very strong denial.  I know he knows there is something wrong, but if you dont think you have a problem, YOU DONT.  With each month I see his health slowly getting worse, and as we confront he basically shuts us out.  Any advice from those of you on how to address this problem.  We have a friend who is a respritory therapists and we thought about having him present at the time we intervene, however I am sure my father will become confrontational.  Please any advice on how to get him to the doctor or just some words of encouragement would be greatly apprecieted.  Thank You!

Hi,

This is a common enough situation, unfortunately.

You need to get your Dad to talk to someone, preferably a doctor, whom he respects. They need to be well up on sleep disorders. There is probably an underlying fear of the unknown, the deterioration in his health, for no apparant reason. The weight gain can't be good either, and under all the denial he is aware of it.

He has had a bad experience with the doctor who 'tried him out' with a machine. He needs a proper diagnosis (sleep study) with a good sleep doctor. In the last two years mask technology has improved again and things are not as bad as before.

One other thing, he is your father and he still sees you as his children (and always will), and he won't allow you to push him in a given direction.......because he still sees you as children. In fact he will probably go against anything that you suggest. Older people can go like that. If you can get another party to talk to him, as distinct from family it might help.

You are in a horrible situation, a real no win. Unfortunately if the condition is not treated it will continue to deteriorate. A reasoned approach by an outsider might work.

Very best of luck.
Daniel


_________________
The untreated Sleep Apnoea sufferer died quietly in his sleep.......
Unlike his three passengers who died screaming !!!!!!

(Anon)