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God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

I. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.  I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

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Mark Twain (Samuel Clemmons)

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I've lived a long life and seen a lot of hard times...most of which never happened.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself.

Always do the right thing. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth.

Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting start is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.

To cease smoking is the easiset thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

When angry count four; when very angry, swear.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

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Sleep Apnea - 06/10/2003

This has been a very hectic month for me.  I'm making the medical industry extremely happy this month by making the insurance company send many doctors, labs and other healthcare companies money.

I've never been one to utilize the services of a doctor, unless it was necessary in my own mind.  I can tell when I'm getting sick, and I've learned what works for me and what doesn't.  I don't see the need to drop $20 at the doctor's office every time I cough, sneeze, or get a bruise. I can tell when I have an infection and need an antibiotic.  Every single time I've gone to the doctor, I've paid them to tell me the same thing I already knew, and walked out with a prescription for Amoxicillin.

Well, I've found out that my body also talks in its sleep, and I wasn't listening.  It was talking to me during the day, but I thought it was telling me to lose weight and exercise more.  It turns out that was only part of it.  I get tired easily during the day, and sometimes it's hard to pull through with the kids at night because I just don't have the energy by the end of day to keep up with them.  I also have a history of snoring so loud that I drown out the alarm clock, which my wife loves to remind me of. I guess it wasn't until an outing with my friends that it really hit me that there all of these issues were really inter-related and could be dealt with quite easily.

I visited my family doctor 2 weeks ago today, and was referred to a sleep lab for analysis.  It took until yesterday to get the results, but I've been diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea.  I basically stop breathing an average of 49 times an hour for 10 seconds or longer each time while I sleep. This adds up to about 65 minutes of non-breathing time during an 8 hour night. Because of this, my blood oxygen levels are low at night and I never achieve a sustained deep sleep like a normal person should.  As a related effect, my snoring is loud.  The body is a miraculous machine in how it handles sleep apnea - when you stop breathing, the body automatically senses this and wakes you up enough to restart the breathing process.  Unfortunately for those of us who have sleep apnea, this means relatively little to no deep sleep, which the body needs to function properly.  I can't remember the last time I had a dream while sleeping at night; It's probably been about 5 years.

I picked up a CPAP machine yesterday, and used it for the first time last night.  I don't feel a lot different today, but hopefully over the next week or so I'll start feeling some improvement.  My wife seemed rather happy this morning, as she could actually get some sleep last night - I didn't snore at all. I've already become much more aware of what and how much I eat in an attempt to drop some weight.

It seems quite interesting that I have a degree in electronics, I've built robots, I've worked with lasers, computers, network systems, wireless communications equipment and I design networks for a living, but I find myself having to use (in its simplest terms) a variable speed fan connected to a breathing mask at the end of the day to keep myself going.  It kind of looks like you have the end of the hose from a portable vacuum cleaner stuck up your nose at night.

As a side note, if you own stock in Pepsi, you may want to sell now and reinvest in Lipton.  I've kicked my 2-3 liter a day Mountain Dew habit and started brewing tea on a gallon basis.