I'm just curious.  Actually, my wife is curious as to whether there are any support groups for spouses of people with sleep apnea.  She is very concerned about my new found problem, and wants to learn as much as she can.  I think she just wants to talk to people who have gone through what she has had to endure and will continue to endure be it in a different way because of my apnea.

Thanks,
Dave

I'm a spouse and, as far as I know, there aren't groups for spouses.  (Spice, my husband call us)!  

There has been a thread going quite recently about spouses' problems and, in it, I suggested a special Forum but haven't heard anything.

However, just following the regular forums will teach your wife a lot.  I've been doing that for more than a year and it has been very helpful to me.  There is no reason at all why she shouldn't join on her own account so she can ask questions.  She can also learn a lot by going to the manufacturers' web sites; they all have a lot of information on their products and how to use them.

I have bookmarked ResMed, Respironics, Fisher and Paykel, Puritan Bennett, DeVilbiss, Somnotech, and Innomed.  Some of the online dealers also have good web sites with lots of info.

I am not a spouse who has had trouble accepting the machine and mask so I don't pursue that line of thought in my posts.  Is there something that is particularly troubling your wife or is it just the newness of it all?

Please encourage her to speak up; she is more than welcome to take part.

I will definatley tell her to read on this forum.  I don't know that there is anything in particular that she want's to know at the moment.  I think the newness is a big part of it.  Of course I don't have my cpap yet, so we'll see what she thinks of that thing sleeping next to her every night.  But I think that I'm more concerned about that than she is.

Thanks,
Dave

There are no specific sites/forums for sppouses. I joined in March and was very upset to have found none. I also contacted The ASAA and they sadi they would try. I also suggested they print somthing for the doctors offices to give spouses. They thought it wsa a good ides.
 I did learn and find support from ohters onthe forum. and continue to check in .
Hope you have a good day.

Please note that as an interim effort to give the spousal support discussions a spot in our Apnea Support Forum, I've made this topic a sticky topic so it stays at the top of the list for Late Night With Sleep Apnea.  This may or may not change in the future, but in the meantime, feel free to use this as an easy-access place for spouses of people with sleep apnea to chat among themselves and offer mutual support.

Linda


_________________
Click here for link to FAQ and topics
Click here for link to section on machines and masks

Where is  Late Night with Sleep Apnea ?

neglected wrote:

Where is  Late Night with Sleep Apnea ?

You're in it.  I'm referring to here, this section of the forum, and this topic.


_________________
Click here for link to FAQ and topics
Click here for link to section on machines and masks

dmohn28
 please tell your wife to feel free to come and share . that is what we are here for.
 we all have had different experiences but we are spouses of people eith SA.
I learned lots of things when I joined almost 2 months ago. It is nice to know that she is not alone. Neither are you and I wish you luck in your treatment.

First and foremost the ASAA Apnea Support Forum is a source of support for people dealing with their sleep apnea or those needing information about the condition. However the ASAA recognizes the need for spouses and partners of people with sleep apnea to discuss among themselves their experiences and concerns.

As a temporary experimental measure, we will soon be adding a separate forum for spouses and partners of those with sleep apnea to discuss their unique issues. It will be separate from the main section.

We do not want to dissuade people who have sleep apnea from getting the support and encouragement they need to get diagnosed, tested and treatment for their apnea. We have been pleased to see a number of spouses and other family members using our forum to seek ways to help their spouse or family member get information and support for their condition. But we also recognize that some spouses or partners of those with sleep apnea need to discuss among themselves the effect this all has on themselves and their relationships.

We ask for your patience in waiting for this separate forum, and ask that you help us to make sure that people coming to the main forum for their sleep apnea get the support and encouragement they desperately need. Your assistance in waiting for the new section is appreciated.

If you have any questions or comments please send me a private message.


_________________
Executive Director
American Sleep Apnea Association
6856 Eastern Avenue, NW Ste. 203
Washington, DC 20012
202-293-3650

I have been a member here and posting for more than a year now and I'm sure that some  have noticed that I'm a spouse.  I don't have a need for a separate forum and never did, but I support a forum for spouses because it is obvious that sleep apnea is a painful problem for some people.  I would suggest that it be put down with the Late Night Forum so that it is not as obvious for sleep apnea sufferers and, yes, I realize that it might be hard to find for those who need it.

Something that occured to me when I was reading the posts from spouses who feel neglected  was that their SA sufferers were probably too upset, and maybe even too ashamed, to even realize how their condition was affecting their spouses.  I don't know what to do about that but a place where more experienced partners on both sides could discuss it would surely be helpful.

Frances wrote:

I'm a spouse and, as far as I know, there aren't groups for spouses.  (Spice, my husband call us)!  

There has been a thread going quite recently about spouses' problems and, in it, I suggested a special Forum but haven't heard anything.

However, just following the regular forums will teach your wife a lot.  I've been doing that for more than a year and it has been very helpful to me.  There is no reason at all why she shouldn't join on her own account so she can ask questions.  She can also learn a lot by going to the manufacturers' web sites; they all have a lot of information on their products and how to use them.

I am not a spouse who has had trouble accepting the machine and mask so I don't pursue that line of thought in my posts.  Is there something that is particularly troubling your wife or is it just the newness of it all?

Please encourage her to speak up; she is more than welcome to take part.

Dave - I would love to talk with your wife.  I could use a friend right now, and I know your wife will need some encouragement and support.  It is not an easy road, and in my opinion, very difficult for everyone involved.  Know that up front and you may be better prepared to avoid the train wreck.  Our doctor gave us the diagnosis, sent us home with this machine and we thought we'd just plug it in - end of story.  You are a good and caring husband to be looking out for your wife.  A number of people feel like you do, but the majority do not.  I am the wife of a CPAP user and this is destroying my life.  We've been at this for a little more than a month now and sleeping apart.  Although I can say this forum has provided invaluable information and education, negative comments from spouses and what we are going through are not too welcome.  There was a recent thread "forum suggestion" where a number of spouses were voicing the extreme difficulties and real hardship CPAP puts on their relationship.  They LOCKED and removed the link.  It's a great forum and the people here are great.  I think if the suffering spouse is here looking they are also suffering and trying to help.  That alone shows they care enough to try and make the situation better.  It would be much easier to just remove the problem.  When you help the sleep partner you are helping the user in more ways than you can possibley imagine.


_________________
Husband uses CPAP ResMed Elite S8
With Respironics OptiLife Nasal Pillow
Started: March 23, 2007

The thread was not locked and removed.  It was moved to the late night forum and there was a link to that post.  (matter of fact it is a few posts below this one)

The negative comments towards folks are not allowed, or tolerated.  The goal of this forum is to ensure people with an illness get the treatment that they need.  

I have no doubt that spouses have difficulties, but those problems do not rise to the level of life threatening, regardless of how hurt someones feelings might be.  

I do agree that we have many spouses that wish to be supportive and are not having any success in getting their loved one treated.  But at no time will we put the feelings of a spouse ahead of the treatment of someone diagnosed with Sleep Apnea.

It is very upsetting that now we spouses have a place and we are still insulting each other.
Coming onto the forum now makes me angry all we are doingis insulting one another. ENOUGH .
We now have this sight and those who need to vent still can't.
 I agree negative comments should not be allowed or tolerated by either side.
 No spouse EVER made light of SA and the use of a CPAP . We know it is a serious diease , it is just we need time as well to accept the changes in our spouse as well how it Effects us and it does. Doctors give results and send you home. We are the ones who ae there and pick up the pieces.  
To say we put our feelings before our spouses health is not nice, I though we were avaoinding that.
 We  see things and cope with it in different ways.
Many of us are the main support for our spouses , we need to learn and get advice.
the best advice iwas given was give iti  time , and that caem from a person with SA who thorugh their story gave me a wake up call,
 I hope that now we as spouses have our own voices the insults will stop and we will all learn to help each other.

Good points, Neglected.

Keep in mind, this is a discussion forum, and we have to keep it civil, no matter what the topic or which forum section is used.

This forum is for discussion, even opposing opinions.  But personal attacks or major disruptions which jeopardize the mission of this forum won't be  tolerated.  Posts can be and have been moderated if it gets to that point.  And if anyone has concerns about the nature of discussions, they are welcome to contact moderators or admin.  Most forums of any type have conduct rules.  First and foremost, people with sleep apnea are the priority here.  Any behavior that gets in the way of our efforts to help those people will be moderated, no matter what the discussion.

Enjoy your discussions, and help us find relief and offer support for those with sleep apnea.  It is a life-threatening condition.  We want to keep them around a long time.  I may have apnea, but I also have close loved ones who have sleep apnea.  I couldn't bare to see them gone.  Let's try and be tolerant of people who have life-threatening illnesses.  One day we may all be faced with either sleep apnea or something equally dangerous.  So let's all help each other by keeping it civil.


Linda


_________________
Click here for link to FAQ and topics
Click here for link to section on machines and masks

Linda- i appreciate your support. and understanding.

 However now this thread  is being  attacked and used for other purposes then for us to vent  and share our issues. I though this conversation Sa vs. spouses ended and we can all get on with our lives.  and help those we love.
 Lets end this now and let us use this forum for  the purposes which it was intented tohelp each other and not defend or fight one another.