I've been badgered for years about my snoring. I recently took some charge of my health and a sleep study was one of the steps. I'm using my CPAP religiously and have noticed benefits from it.

Now my wife, who is happy about all of this, is always tired and napping too. I've heard a snort or two from her too. I've read from several women on CPAP that even though they don't snore, that they were diagnosed with sleep apnea and got treatment.

When I want HER to go someplace with me, she's too tired or needs a nap. Even my dog will abandon me as he thinks he has to stay home to protect her. If I'm watching TV and she comes into the living room, she'll cover up and fall asleep and tell me to turn the TV down. Grrrr!

I'll tell you girls why many of us guys are in denial. To many doctors don't suspect sleeping disorders. Where I work, we have yearly health screenings but never ask "the right" questions.  They ask how I sleep and I thought that I slept like a log. Logs don't breath. I wasn't doing much better! It takes a doctor to get some guys motivated.

If hubby is suffering and fails to acknowledge it, he probably is not working to capacity at work. If you can speak with the human resources person, perhaps some headway can be made there. Speak with his doctor. Speak with a friend of his that you can talk openly with. Do what you can to get the big lunkhead to do a sleep study!

If after all of this they get a CPAP and don't use it, he's probably too embarrassed and proud to ask for help in tweaking things. Trying different masks, among other things, may be necessary before it becomes tolerable. Soon he'll not want to be sleeping without it! Call the doctor on your own and talk about it. Get the kids to help pester some sense into him.

Often his friends will be on CPAP but never mention it to friends. I found out that my brother has been on one for a while and he never told me. We're almost twins so you'd think he'd talk to me about it. I have a coworker that we have to fly on business from time to time.  I wondered what the second computer case was for. He said it was his CPAP. He knew that I have snoring issues. Our boss had to share a room with me once and just about beat me with a pillow trying to shut me up. Another time my assigned room mate just couldn't spend another night with me.  You'd think SOMEONE would have discussed sleep apnea with me?

So calling the right person can possibly help get him out of denial and begin treating it.  Now if I could do the same with my wife!


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Steve Bukosky
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Questioning authority is no better exercised than with the medical community.

ResMed S8 Autoset II EPR/ 4i humidifier
ResMed Mirage Ultra mask - favorite
Respironics Comfortlite II mask - backup

I have just completed my first five days (plus a nap) on APAP.  My husband has several symptoms of sleep apnea too ~ we didn't realize it until the RT was asking me the things on the questionnaire prior to my home sleep study.  

He has a follow-up with our doctor on the 13th, and I asked him to please ask her whether he should have a sleep study too.  Originally he was going to do that, but watching me fidget around with my mask over the past five days is making him go into a kind of denial too.  He doesn't want to have to worry about waking up with mask leaks and high pressure and headgear and whether the tilt of the nose is right or not, or how tight or loose the headgear needs to be, or which pillow will help me not bump my mask when I roll over, etc.  I got a pressure sore on my nose, so I'm trying to find the right spots for everything on the mask.  

My APAP has already really helped with my level of alertness and also my fibromyalgia pain.  I'm totally sold and getting ready to order my own unit.  I'll get the mask issues worked out.  I have the RT coming back in a few minutes to verify my mask fit and give me some advice.  I'd think that he'd see how well I'm doing already and want to rule out apnea for himself!

I hope we both get our spouses in for sleep tests.


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Diagnosed May 4, 2009
RDI = 36.6, oxygen desat to 85%
Respironics REMstar M Series APAP with full face comfort gel mask

Wow...me too!  My husband was initially in denial and thought the sleep center must not be right about my having sleep apnea.  He says he is ok with my CPAP and it does not bother him, but he refuses to accept that he might have sleep apnea as well.  The Dr. has tried to send him and he snores way more than I ever did...I don't know whether I should keep at him or drop it.  I hope that maybe as I get more energy and rest, maybe he will be more willing to get checked out himself.


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ResMed Swift LT mask
Respironics REMstar M series with humidifier
Pressure at 11

We're a dual cpap family.  I diagnosed husband about 20 years ago, and he returned the favor last fall.   We joke about "powering up"  or snorkeling.  It's no joke to smother every night.  Wearing a cpap is working for both of us.  

Sbukosky, your wife appears to have apnea also.  Keep trying to get her to a sleep lab. "Never, never, never give up." (Churchill)  There are quite a few cpap families around here.  Once she gets checked out...you need to watch your kids for symptoms.

Have you tape recorded her breathing?


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Dianne's: Remstar Auto M, C-flex, humidifier, smart card. Mask: Swift LT, AHI- 23, lowest blood ox 80%.

John's: Same cpap, Mask: Respironics Profile-lite mask.
severe apnea, Cpap user for more than 20 years.

Sbukosky, Just another thought, but you may not have noticed how tired your wife was before you got your cpap.  Now that you feel better, you're probably more cognizant of her exhaustion.

Good luck to both of you.  Sounds like you're a good husband.


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Dianne's: Remstar Auto M, C-flex, humidifier, smart card. Mask: Swift LT, AHI- 23, lowest blood ox 80%.

John's: Same cpap, Mask: Respironics Profile-lite mask.
severe apnea, Cpap user for more than 20 years.

She doesn't snore but slightly sometimes, but has other symptoms.  I bought an oximeter the other day. I should be able to convince her to wear it for a night and see what her saturations drop to. If they don't look good, if she doesn't talk to her doctor about it, I'll mail the report to the doctor!

I gotta take care of her. I need someone to do the cooking and the wash!


_________________
Steve Bukosky
-----------------
Questioning authority is no better exercised than with the medical community.

ResMed S8 Autoset II EPR/ 4i humidifier
ResMed Mirage Ultra mask - favorite
Respironics Comfortlite II mask - backup

...hmmmm....you should be doin' some of the cooking and the wash too....
 

Good luck


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Dianne's: Remstar Auto M, C-flex, humidifier, smart card. Mask: Swift LT, AHI- 23, lowest blood ox 80%.

John's: Same cpap, Mask: Respironics Profile-lite mask.
severe apnea, Cpap user for more than 20 years.