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leloup
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 127
Location: Halifax, Canada
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 CPAP and girlfriend
I haven't had a girlfriend since before I discovered that I have OSA. But now that I'm on CPAP, how would I meet a girlfriend? How would I tell her that I can't sleep in one room because I snore and thus wear a CPAP mask? Does it mean I'm doomed to be alone?
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| Wed May 07, 2008 9:58 pm |
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kssleepyhead
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 69
Location: Kansas
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First of all the cpap is only a part of your life it is not like you are wearing it out on the dance floor, or sitting at the dinner table in an elegant restaurant.
Here is a link to a post from another user on the pretty much a similar topic
There is some really good responses to it!
[url]
http://www.apneasupport.org/viewtopic.php?t=227&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0[/url]
Hope it helps Good Luck!
_________________ Optilife mask by Respironics
Remstar Plus M with c-flex and heated humidifier
Pressure set at 18
Started Cpap on 12-13-07
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| Wed May 07, 2008 10:13 pm |
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Frances
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 941
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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My fellow Canadian! How would you usually meet a girl friend? After all, first things first. Then you get to know her a little bit and you casually mention that you use a medical device to keep you breathing during the night. If she reacts badly, then scratch one girlfriend! If she doesn't, then reel her in slowly as a fly fisherman does. And, remember, you use the machine when you SLEEP not otherwise. Faint heart ne'er won fair lady!
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| Wed May 07, 2008 10:41 pm |
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Vicki
Moderator
Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 3140
Location: Southern California
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Actually, my off again, on again boyfriend won't sleep in the same house with me unless I use my CPAP because my snoring keeps him awake. When we travel, he always asks if I remembered my "breathing thing". BTW, I have way more energy than he does.
Vicki
_________________ That which does not kill you makes you stronger-Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich must of had apnea.
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| Wed May 07, 2008 10:42 pm |
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Mrs Rip Van Winkle
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 1792
Location: Nature Coast, Florida
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Friend of mine in Texas is back in the dating thing again...aka just divorced. When she heard I have CPAP she said...oh, this guy I date has one too. He was embarrassed to stay one night in the beginning then he told me why...geez, I don't know what the big deal was...I really like him & he is taking care of his health...Plus then he won't know if I happen to cut one in bed!
I couldn't stop laughing...but then you have to know her and we have been best friends for over 30 years...so we can just look at each other and crack up laughing....
BTW...I think she is single still...want her number?
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| Wed May 07, 2008 10:54 pm |
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BarryKaraoke
Joined: 30 Dec 2007
Posts: 614
Location: Patterson, NY
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kssleepyhead wrote:First of all the cpap is only a part of your life it is not like you are wearing it out on the dance floor, or sitting at the dinner table in an elegant restaurant.
Exactly! I highly recommend NOT wearing your mask while bowling or in a movie theater as well.
I also wouldn't specifically bring it up on the first date, unless you get into a deep medical discussion. I wouldn't hide it either though. If a girl comes over to your place and see's your gear, just be very nonchalant and use laymans terms. "Oh...that's my CPAP machine. It keeps me from snoring so I can get a good nights sleep without keeping the whole neighborhood up or waking the dead!", etc. Humor is always good on dates.
The others bring up a good point and that is that CPAP is more prevalent than you think. Everybody knows somebody that uses it.
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| Thu May 08, 2008 9:07 am |
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leloup
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 127
Location: Halifax, Canada
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Thanks a lot for your answers. I'm too shy a person (since childhood) when it comes to dating. And this CPAP thing makes things more complicated.
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| Thu May 08, 2008 1:26 pm |
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Accx4
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 37
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 But what if
But what if it came with a mask or a helmet or something... Like a Astronaut helmet or a Race Car helmet even... Then at least you could say you are dreaming of Danica Patrick or something... I wish it didn't look so MEDICAL but it does. Its dark before I ever put the mask on and on the rare occasion that she is up and flips on a light I have the covers over my head and my own cool breeze bringing me air from feet away from the drawer I hide my Machine in in the night table. I have to hide that thing in the day time because it doesn't fit the decor of Model Home perfection. It ain't like its a bust of Bach or Mozart... Its my health,,, I sleep better and we ALL have our little quirks... Truthfully Leloup... She has a period you have a cpap... Life is good! I was totally freaked out about having to get this thing but it truly works miricles! I love it... I can't wait to go to sleep at night. No one says you have to sit up in bed and read or watch tv with the lights on with it although MANY MANY people on here do just that. I wait til that light switch clicks and I get my goodnight kisses and When she snuggles up, I don the mask and breathe freely into sweet slumber. It is AMAZING! She will actually be happier at how you AREN"T SNORING like a beast... And that you will have MUCH more energy for well.... you know... Stuff... I wish you the best and try not to worry. I have been there and I know it sucks but it could be worse... I think it would be harder if you let it go and end up diabetic with amputated toes or feet for that matter. Its a little harder to dance that way... And bowling would be pretty much out... It will make you healthy man... But it would be awesome if they could somehow make it look cool...
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| Thu May 08, 2008 7:59 pm |
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Bearded One
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 2092
Location: Virginia
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When I was dating, I didn't hide my CPAP; the machine stayed in its normal place on the floor and my mask stayed on my nightstand. People either knew what it was and mentioned that somebody they knew also used one or they didn't know what it is and asked about it. Nobody had an issue with it.
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| Thu May 08, 2008 8:53 pm |
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Mrs Rip Van Winkle
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 1792
Location: Nature Coast, Florida
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ACCX wrote:
Quote: Truthfully Leloup... She has a period you have a cpap... Life is good
maybe you will find a girl with both a period and a CPAP...then life will be fantastic! The sound of the machines humming together will allow you to ignor any PMS issues!
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| Thu May 08, 2008 11:14 pm |
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TedG954
Joined: 25 Sep 2006
Posts: 270
Location: South Florida
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Hmmmm.
Girlfriend.
Yes. I remember.
I had one once.
Hmmmm.
_________________ As a Christian, you may be the only bible someone ever reads.
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| Fri May 09, 2008 11:16 am |
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leloup
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 127
Location: Halifax, Canada
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Bearded One wrote:When I was dating, I didn't hide my CPAP; the machine stayed in its normal place on the floor and my mask stayed on my nightstand. People either knew what it was and mentioned that somebody they knew also used one or they didn't know what it is and asked about it. Nobody had an issue with it.
Well, there's usually no issue except for compassion. And I can logically understand that it's okay to wear the mask and tell a potential gf about it. But psychologically, it's still a very complicated and difficult matter for me.
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| Sat May 10, 2008 1:24 am |
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leloup
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 127
Location: Halifax, Canada
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So we might probably hope that science will eventually develop some permanent solution for OSA.
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| Sat May 10, 2008 1:27 am |
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Bearded One
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 2092
Location: Virginia
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Of course, anybody with an incurable medical condition hopes for a cure for their condition; that is why people get UPPPs and why cancer patients go to Mexico to get laetrile.
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| Sat May 10, 2008 7:22 am |
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Gman
Joined: 18 Sep 2006
Posts: 33
Location: Cincinnati
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If you build the relationship and a girl really likes you she won't be put off by the machine. If she is then I'd have to wonder if she's anyone you would want to even be with.
My cpap is no big deal to my girlfriend because I don't make a big deal out of it. We have a normal life just like any other dating couple. We have our fun time, cuddle time, pillow talk time... just like everyone else. When one of us is ready to sleep we say goodnite, the mask goes on and we sleep. I'm so energetic from using my machine that she would have no reason to complain about it anyway. Don't make a big deal out of the machine, don't act like you're less of a man because you need to use it. Present it as if it's the thing that keeps you strong & manly.
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| Sat May 10, 2008 9:06 am |
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