
Sudden Panic Attack for Long-Time CPAP User
Hello,
Finding this forum string has made me realize that I am not alone in being the victim of CPAP-related panic attacks. I am at least a bit relieved to know its not just me, but at the same time, I am sorry that others have had to endure this.
I am in my mid-30s and in overall decent health. I have obstructive sleep apnea, and have successfully been using a CPAP on a nightly basis ever since I was diagnosed about 7 years ago. When I use my CPAP, I typically sleep like a bear in hibernation through the night, and wake up refreshed. Since beginning CPAP treatment, there have only been a handful of nights that I have been unable to use my CPAP (like during power outages, or when I did not have my CPAP handy because I unexpectedly had to stay away from home overnight on what was supposed to be only a day trip. On the nights without my CPAP, attempting to sleep was futile. When I did attempt to sleep without my CPAP, I would awake gasping for air every few minutes all through the night.
I write today because I recently experienced an unbelievably traumatic experience with my CPAP. Lately, I have been under a bit of stress (but not so much more than usual). Now I have never before suffered a panic attack. Two nights ago (Saturday night), though, I was preparing for sleep and, as is my usual routine, I put on my mask and got in bed. I closed my eyes and, seconds later, as if compelled, I literally threw the mask off, and gasped for air. The instant I closed my eyes, I had this indescribably claustrophobic feeling (the likes of which I have never experienced), and felt like I had to throw the mask off or I was going to suffocate. I paced around through the night, and every time I tried to put on the mask (I also tried my less-obtrusive nasal pillow to the same effect), a few moments later I would again throw the mask off gasping for air after feeling all closed in with this sense of imminent doom (like I was going to die). I then tried falling asleep without the CPAP, but of course I awoke every few minutes gasping for air like I always do when I try to sleep without it. I felt I was in a catch 22 - as if I could no longer wear the mask, because it was strangling me, and I could not sleep without it, because I would suffocate. Keep in mind that for 7 years I've been using my CPAP and NEVER had a problem (even when I just started using CPAPs, as do some new users). But on this night, I felt that I had to consciously work to breathe - whether with or without the mask - and I felt as though my breathing would come to a stop if I fell asleep. This feeling accelerated through the night until I felt my life would soon end because I could neither sleep with my CPAP, or wear my mask without it strangling me.
Now I'm typically a fairly grounded individual, and have never had anything remotely like this experience. By the next morning (Sunday), I was in even worse shape - pacing around, I was trying to get my things in order as if I was preparing to die. At my insistence, my wife took me to the emergency room by mid-morning where they first gave me an EKG to rule out a heart attack (the doc said my heart was in perfect health). Then, diagnosing me as having had a series of severe panic attacks since the prior evening, the docs pumped me full of Atavan in order to "reboot" me. This seemed to finally allow me to relax. They then sent me home with a prescription for Xanax, which they told me to take regularly around the clock unit Monday, when I could see a psychiatrist. Last night (Sunday night), when I again put the CPAP nasal pillow on (despite being dosed up on Xanax), I felt the panic returning. But for my wife trying to relax me and massage my head until I dozed off, I believe another attack would have occurred.
Today (Monday) I saw a psychiatrist on an emergency basis. She took a detailed history and prescribed me two daily doses of clonazepam, .5 mg each, which she believes should stop the attacks until she follows up with me in 3 weeks. She also wants to refer me to psychotherapy to help me find ways to cope and/or prevent future attacks from occurring. I am now completely drained, and I worry - in horror-movie-style terror - that another attack is imminent tonight, and tomorrow night, and the night after that, and so forth. I dread the thought of the sun going down.
My CPAP has been a life saver. I cannot imaging having been without it for the last 7 years. In this cruel twist, now for some reason I have, in a matter of days, come to dread and fear the machine. I don't know what has changed.
A week ago, were I have to have read these above words written by someone else, I would have laughed in disbelief. But now it is all too real. Have any other long-term CPAP users suddenly have something similar occur to them? If so, were you able to discern what changed to suddenly bring about such attacks? What kind of treatments (whether drugs, medical, or psychological) have helped you cope with these symptoms? Have the attacks stopped?
I look forward to any input or insight anyone out there can provide.
Best regards,
Eric