My husband has been through two sleep studies.  I pushed him into going after I noticed all the classic signs.  He stops breathing, snores loudly, flails about in his sleep and often falls sleeps on the couch throughout the day. He also has high BP, diabetes, high chol. and various other medical problems.  I have to sleep with ear plugs and a fan on to get through the night which I really dislike.  He is also is 6'2" tall and weighs 420 lbs.  I feel he is definitely at a  major health risk.  
 He did the diagnostic testing last week and that went well.  He definitely has sleep apnea as the Dr.'s order stated to continue the study if he has episodes.  Last night he went for the titration study.  They used a nasal mask and chin strap CPAP machine.  He came home and said it was the worse experience he every had.   He begged and pleaded to never have to where the mask again.  He complained of suffocating and not being able to sleep at all.  This is contrary to what the tech said, that he did sleep good all night.  He felt most uncomfortable and said he felt like he was drowning.  He said he would loose weight and he thinks that will end his sleep apnea problems.   He said he will drink less fluids before going to bed and thinks that will help.  He also said he will sleep in the other room so I can sleep.  I have recorded his sleep and even put the camcorder on his an showed his the struggles he goes through in sleep all night.  He understands he does have it but he believes it is not so severe that he can just make a few changes and it will go away.  He feels sleep is one of the things he most looks forward and that the quality of his sleep and life will be compromised.  He just does not see himself sleep with this apparatus on his head.  He has some big denial issues.
We return to the Dr. next week and get the full results and recommendations.  I really feel he needs this for his health and the well-being.  I am so frustrated and fearful he may not comply in using the machine.  I see so many kinds and types of machines that are possible that I am confused about that also.  I just know from what I have observed, with many sleepless nights, that he really does have Sleep Apnea that needs to be treated.  
I know this is lengthy and thanks for allowing me to vent.  Any advice is greatly appreciated.

jmariej wrote:

He came home and said it was the worse experience he every had.   He begged and pleaded to never have to where the mask again.  He complained of suffocating and not being able to sleep at all.  This is contrary to what the tech said, that he did sleep good all night.  He felt most uncomfortable and said he felt like he was drowning.  He said he would loose weight and he thinks that will end his sleep apnea problems.   He said he will drink less fluids before going to bed and thinks that will help.  He also said he will sleep in the other room so I can sleep.  I have recorded his sleep and even put the camcorder on his an showed his the struggles he goes through in sleep all night.  He understands he does have it but he believes it is not so severe that he can just make a few changes and it will go away.  He feels sleep is one of the things he most looks forward and that the quality of his sleep and life will be compromised.  He just does not see himself sleep with this apparatus on his head.  He has some big denial issues.
We return to the Dr. next week and get the full results and recommendations.  I really feel he needs this for his health and the well-being.  I am so frustrated and fearful he may not comply in using the machine.  I see so many kinds and types of machines that are possible that I am confused about that also.  I just know from what I have observed, with many sleepless nights, that he really does have Sleep Apnea that needs to be treated.  
I know this is lengthy and thanks for allowing me to vent.  Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Hey Marie,

One thing he needs to know is that we ALL feel uncomfortable with 20+ electrodes glued to our body, lying on our back with a mask on our face in a strange hospital while night vision camera's watch over you.    

You need to ask him, since he DID sleep quite a bit, exactly what parts were so horrible.  He may be (as many do) having trouble coming to grips with whole "I have to use a MACHINE to BREATH!!!" panic.  For those who have trouble adapting, it does get much easier in your own home.  He could also try different kinds of masks until he finds one that is more comfortable.  After a few good nights sleep, when his energy is back and the fog lifts, he may see things differently.

The main thing is that he needs YOU to push him to keep trying, for his own health and your family.  Remind him of the health dangers and that you NEED him around!

Marie, your husband's feelings about wearing a mask are very common and oh so natural.  Who, in their right mind, would want to sleep that way for the rest of their life.  But, eventually, I think he can be convinced to change his mind.

Tell him about the nasal pillows type masks which don't really cover the face at all.  Go the websites for all the manufacturers and look at the photos and see if there is one he'd like to try.  Then get him to try using it for an hour or so each night for a while and then gradually extend the time.

And get him to read the postings here and maybe get him to take part.  

My husband began using a CPAP machine 2 years ago and at that time I felt it was something I could never do.  But I was having sleep problems of my own, and although it took some time, I eventually decided that I could do it, if it would help me sleep better.  As it happens, a sleep study showed that I didn't have sleep apnea so I didn't have to try.

I know that you both realize that he is grossly overweight.  Losing that much weight is very difficult but he needs to try, even though it will take quite a lot of time.  The prize at the end of the rainbow is that his sleep apnea will improve and possibly even be eliminated, although he won't know for sure until he gets there.  My husband lost a lot of weight about 30 years ago and managed to keep it off; he did it by controlling what he ate and sheer bloody mindedness.

He CAN sleep with a CPAP machine because 1000's of people do.  Keep in touch - there will be other ideas about getting him through this.

I go to bed a lot of times without putting my mask on. It's not on purpose though. According to my wife, I have the ability to lay my head on the pillow and go right to sleep. So if I don't put the mask on before I lay down, I usually don't wear it. My wife wakes me up all the time to put it on. Maybe you can suggest that he lays down for a few min. and when he starts to fall asleep, put the mask on. That usually works for me.

I hope by him losing weight will help his conditions and won't have to have a machine. I'm 6'1 and 280lbs. The doctor told me that I have severe sleep apnea. He went on to say that even if I got back down to my high school weight (160lbs) i'd still have sleep apnea. Kind of sucks knowing that you could lose all the weight in the world and it wont make a darn bit of difference.

Marie,

I'm 20 years into this.  I promise you that it DOES get better if he uses the CPAP.  When he starts to feel better, you will feel better.  It is that simple.  

Nobody worries about looks at night.   We're busy sleeping when we hit the sack.  

Best wishes to you.  Dianne

Well, here's hoping he'll get as scared from his results as I did mine, and I was going FOR the CPAP.

I knew I had sleep apnea.  I had tried other treatments before. They quit working, so I BEGGED for the Sleep Study and the CPAP.

Then I got the best sleep in ages, went home with the unit, and then a couple of weeks later, I actually got my scores.
MAN! I didn't expect I was anything that bad. 53 apneas + 14 hypopneas in the first hour alone!!!  This translates to an AHI of 111.7!  Yeah! That's OVER TWICE the SEVERE level!  No wonder I was tired.

Now I can't sleep if it isn't on.


_________________
painless

Sleep Apnea is a Killer! Get it Tested!
Get it Treated! Use the Treatment!

I remember my husband being very put off by the sleep study and the CPAP; I think it's hard enough for someone to sleep away from home, alone, much less hooked up to a mask!

But he was never tired during the day. He couldn't stay awake past 10pm, but I just figured that was normal since he gets up around 6am each day and has a somewhat stressful job. Other than loud snoring, he had no symptoms on the doctor's checklist. It didn't bother me unless he fell asleep first (unusual) because I am usually a deep sleeper. I asked the doctor how most people end up in his office and he said, "Their spouses bring them in because of their snoring."

So you can imagine how shocked we were to find out his AHI was 105!!! The doctor said he was one of the worst 5 cases he had ever seen. I started to cry when we left the doctor's office; I felt like we had dodged a bullet. Unfortunately my husband's issue is structural and surgery or losing weight won't help him (he's probably 30lbs. overweight).  The doctor was very straight with him and said if he did not wear the mask a stroke or heart attack was not just possible but LIKELY.

So perhaps finding out what your husband's numbers are and whether or not losing weight could even help him might motivate him to wear the mask. And as many people on here will tell you, getting the right fit is so important.

I felt like your husband did at first. The mask they put on at the sleep study was too tight and hurt and I felt panicy with the nose mask. I bought a full face mask, which I like better and after ajusting it - it's now quit comfortable. We'd all like to sleep without the mask and machine but it's not worth risking your health. Encourage your husband to try different masks.

I can say this situation is much better now.  We did the follow up with the Dr. and found out that he has severe sleep apnea.  He had over 700 episodes in a 7 hour test with events of apnea as long as 40 seconds.  The results and the Dr. was enough to convince him that he needed to use a CPAP machine.
He talked to a friend and he recommended the the nasal pillows as being less claustrophobic.  He also got a step machine that helps with graduating the pressure.  

The first night it actually went pretty good.  I did not sleep so well though.  He was so quiet and not thrashing about that I had to keep checking to see if the machine was working and that he was alive.  After that I have slept great.   He recently had a cold and was unable to use it but is now back to using it.  His only complaint is sometimes of some nasal irritation (got some nasal gel for that) and that he wakes up sore as he sleeps in one positon most all night without waking.  He also says he has stopped having chasing and fighting dreams.  I think this was his subconscious flighting to breath before the machine.  Another interesting factor that has come up since using the machine is that he has an ongoing and long term diabetic foot ulcer.  We have seen tremendous improvement in its healing.  I can only guess that his body energy at night is going toward healing as oppose to fighting to breathe.  His energy level has improved tremendously and he realized on what quality sleep he was missing.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice.

Jackie

jmariej wrote:

Thank you everyone for your support and advice.

Awesome!!!!  Good for you & your husband for soldiering through this.  Has his energy returned during the day?

Finding out that you essentially stop breathing at night and are very disruptive to your loved ones is very difficult to accept, and finding out that you need a
machine to help you breathe can be even harder. I have always had a very macho attitude about myself and finding out that I needed help to breath when I sleep was very staggering, and
I had a very hard time accepting it. However once I got to try sleeping with a CPAP at home and waking up feeling the very tangible difference when I wore it quickly made me realise that
for my health it was something I was going to have to do.

I believe that if your husband could try the CPAP machine in the comfort of his own home and feel the dramatic difference he would accept it. It will be difficult, but he may need you to push
and beg him to do what is best for his health. Best of luck to you both!

jmariej wrote:

  .....Another interesting factor that has come up since using the machine is that he has an ongoing and long term diabetic foot ulcer.  We have seen tremendous improvement in its healing.  I can only guess that his body energy at night is going toward healing as oppose to fighting to breathe.  His energy level has improved tremendously and he realized on what quality sleep he was missing.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice.

Jackie

Wow Jackie, that's an amazing success story!

Your comment about the diabetic foot ulcer is so interesting.  
And your hunch attributing his improved energy may be right on.  You didn't mention what his oxygen levels were during his sleep study, but they were by definition lower, and no doubt significantly lower considering the severity of his condition.  They say the body's effort to jumpstart our breathing and the heart's efforts to try and pump through more oxygen is a way of putting our bodies into survival mode.  Most of the body's efforts are into making us breath when we stop, and to pump through more oxygen into our bodies.  Plus it's likely he didn't get into deep sleep and the more restorative sleep.  All of this likely took away the body's ability to heal other areas of the body.  And maybe there was even more going on physiologically.  An interesting sidelight for me is that ever since starting cpap, I've had far less colds, hardly any, and it's been over 3 years.  With sleep apnea, we stop breathing.  But the side effect is a kind of real bad sleep deprivation, and studies are showing that sleep deprivation causes all kinds of problems in our bodies physically.

You didn't mention AHI, but doing the math, he stopped breathing about 100 times an hour, that's more than once a minute.  And he stopped breathing as long as 40 seconds.  Even at 20 or 30 seconds, that left little time he was actually breathing, all through the night and night after night.

I'm so happy for you and your husband.  You're obviously a very supportive wife.  You deserve to be pampered!  


Linda

about the improvement in his diabetic foot, there is a logical reason for it; better supply of oxygen the power of healing improves due to a better supply of blood vessels, indispensable to keep the tissues healthy; you might have notice also that the blood sugar levels might be improving as the foot and sleep apnea is treated and the body is better supply with oxygen. Keep it up and always look for air leakages, snoring problems, etc, if they do appear, look for solutions.