My husband has just been diagnosed with Apnea. His doctor says he wakes up 150+ times per night! I feel horrible because I have not taken this seriously and have been downright mean about it. He's lost all his energy and drive & I am feeling really frustrated. I can't even get him to help with yard work anymore. Are there any wives out there that are coping? What are some ways I can help both of us?

sleep apnea sometimes takes a long time to be recognised or diagnosed
he will be lots more energetic when treated for it, did they recommend a CPAP machine?

Girl,
When he gets his machine and all set up be sure to encourage him to use it every time he goes to sleep whether it be night or afternoon nap.
It will may take a while for him to really start feeling the result of the treatment so he best just keep on trying it.
You will more than likely notice a change in his sleeping before he will, like snoring, frequent trips to bathroom etc. When you see a positive change tell him it will help both of you to understand that the treatment is working.
Then when he gets a little more energy you can both celebrate, each little improvement is a step in the right direction.


_________________
Sleeping at long last

Girl wrote:

My husband has just been diagnosed with Apnea. His doctor says he wakes up 150+ times per night! I feel horrible because I have not taken this seriously and have been downright mean about it. He's lost all his energy and drive & I am feeling really frustrated. I can't even get him to help with yard work anymore. Are there any wives out there that are coping? What are some ways I can help both of us?

My husband got diagnosed years ago and has tried a CPAP machine many times and cannot sleep with it.  He gets panic attacks.  So, I don't have a husband any more, I have a potato asleep in my house.... very sad.

Sandi

Girl wrote:

My husband has just been diagnosed with Apnea. His doctor says he wakes up 150+ times per night! I feel horrible because I have not taken this seriously and have been downright mean about it. He's lost all his energy and drive & I am feeling really frustrated. I can't even get him to help with yard work anymore. Are there any wives out there that are coping? What are some ways I can help both of us?

So my husband wont get help.  Is there somewhere I can get help on how I can cope with someone with sleep apnea, memory loss, depression, innatention, severe sleepiness??  I need a support group for me.  
I would greatly appreciate help.

Sandi

Sandi, send him to this forum.  Also, go to the ASAA home page (the sponsor of this forum, link far left under forum title), and find an A.W.A.K.E. group in your area.  There are ways to cope with the panic atacks and different face interfaces he might respond better to.  He is also at risk for heart attack and stroke.  I know it must be terribly, terribly difficult for you.

Vicki


_________________
That which does not kill you makes you stronger-Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich must of had apnea.

To Girl and Sandi,

I feel your pain.  I know my husband has severe apnea and it's been getting worse & worse for almost 30 years now.  How could I know?  He's a textbook case.  He smokes, too, has high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, you name it, also very overweight.  He snores so badly that he never had a roommate in college for more than one night.  The first few nights after we were married, I cried and cried at the mistake I had made.  But soon I learned to ignore it, except when I'm in certain moods, and then I have to leave the room (or risk commiting a crime).  We have visited people's homes and had them comment on all the noise.  He falls asleep everywhere, even at a Rock Concert!  But the worst part is the fear of him falling asleep in the car.  I almost never ride anywhere with him and when I do, I try to keep him talking.  I do not allow him to drive our dog anywhere!  He's had several minor accidents when I wasn't in the car and I think they may have been caused by the sleepiness, just because of the way the accidents occurred.  Thank goodness he doesn't smoke in the house, but he nods off and drops cigarettes out on the porch, burns shirts, etc.  He's never seen an entire movie all the way through.  99% of the time, in the evenings, you'll find him asleep in front of a blaring TV.  Bedtime is just impossible to describe.  Sometimes he shakes the bed so hard you would think there's a quake going on.

All of this time, he has refused to admit to the problem or get any help.  Now that he's retired from his job, he is driving me out of my mind.  All these years he has said he wanted to run a business and we spent the money to get it going, but all he does is sleep all day.  I run my business out of the home and I am just about ready for a divorce.  I honestly don't know how much more I can take.  I try to remember that it's a medical problem, not a moral defect, but his refusal to admit to to problem, much less get help for it, just infuriates me.

So I know how maddening it can be, but I have no clue what to do about it.  Maybe I should threaten divorce?

_________________
My Kinda town Chicago is



Nothing in life is guaranteed, not even taxes -- you have to make money to get money back