Hi everyone. I would like to get some other people's perspectives on what it is like to be in a relationship with someone who has untreated sleep apnea. Are you generally supportive through your partner's process of getting diagnosed and treated, and what do you expect from your partner during that time? Also, have you ever considered leaving someone who was frequently fatigued?

Here's why I am curious. Recently, I was dumped (out of the blue) by a guy I really love. He said it was difficult for him to watch me be so tired, irritable, and stressed all the time. Although he said he would stick with me throughout the process of figuring out why I was so fatigued, he broke up with me soon after I did a sleep study (he thought I didn't have sleep apnea and wasn't trying hard enough to be awake). Ironically, he has sleep apnea and sleeps with a CPAP...and more ironically, I found out (a few days after he broke up with me) that I do, in fact, have obstructive sleep apnea. I don't know if I should patch things up with him, now that I am about to be on CPAP and might be more energetic and happier.

Your thoughts would be helpful. Thanks!

hmmm not sure if this helps...

If you love him it is worth the effort to talk to him and do your part in patching things up...  If he loves you too you will be glad you did.  If you don't try you will always wonder what if...    I hate to say this but he might not like you and just used this as a lame-a** excuse to brake up.  If he doesn't want to get back with you, let him go.  Easier said than done... Continue on with your treatment of SA regardless.   It may take time but you should feel better given time.  If you deal with your SA and you feel better he might come back around again as well.  

I have SA.  My wife wants me to be healthy.   She is not really supportive of the use of the CPAP either it kind of drivers her nuts or my snoring does...   We use humor allot to ease the tention...


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I'm to sexy for my CPAP

It's hard to comment based on a few sentences, but I can tell you that my husband is profoundly supportive of my OSA and treatment for it.  He was always great when I was too tired to do things and had no problem jumping in when it was my turn to dishes, for example.  Now that I am being treated, he's still wonderful as I go through wondering how long my sleep debt will last.  We have a good balance with each other.  I am just as willing to jump in when he needs it and we don't keep a scorecard.

He's never considered leaving me, especially over my health issues.  I know it was difficult for him to watch me tired and stressed too.  But he never blamed me for my health problems.  We're both thrilled that we finally know what is happening.

Speaking for myself, I would be skeptical of patching things up with someone who couldn't understand your struggles when he knows first-hand what OSA and CPAP are like.  A strong and healthy relationship can withstand these types of challenges.  I would concentrate on being 100% compliant with my own treatment and taking care of myself.  If the relationship rekindles down the road, I wouldn't immediately say no, but I would go into things with some skepticism.  Love can work things out.  I wouldn't be sure I could trust again though.

Good luck to you!


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Diagnosed May 4, 2009
RDI = 36.6, oxygen desat to 85%
Respironics REMstar M Series APAP with full face comfort gel mask

I want someone who's with me through sickness and in health.  I was there for him, and he is there for me.  Don't accept anything less.


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ResMed Auto Set II w/hi4 Pressure 9 - 20 EPR at 3 SleepWeaver, Mirage Micro, Liberty, FitLlife
Orig AHI 30.4 RDI 36 & RLS/PLMB

Thanks, everyone! I am glad that you all have supportive partners (or are supportive of your partners).