I have a special needs child that was put into foster care when my apnea symptoms got so bad I could no longer care for her. Unfortunately, she was not placed with an actual foster family, she was placed with anyone who would take her. She lives with a woman who doesn't care about her, just wants the check for having her. Today, because I said I can't pick her up until 9am for my visit tomorrow, she started in on me about my imagined medical problem and how I'm selfish and don't care about my daughter at all. She wanted me to pick her up at 7am, but I can't function then unless I stay up til then, which I'm not sure I could. She says I'm just making this all up because I want to be lazy and not care for my own daughter.   I can't wait until I can show her my report!

Wow, that's just plain awful!  Mean and cruel!

Do NOT let that woman get to you!  You know, if people could walk in other people's shoes, I hope they would see things differently.  
Again, don't let her get to you.  You are seeking medical help and treatment and in time your daughter will understand this.  One thing for sure, she will learn compassion from you, one of the best lessons a mother can give.  So hang in there.  


Linda

I wouldn't waste my time showing her the report, she has her mind made up and will not change it no matter what. Now what I would give her is a bott to the rear.


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Respironics M Series BiPAP Plus with BiFlex, Heated Humidifier
Resmed Ultra Mirage II Nasal Mask with Headgear
Pressure @ 6/11

You probably need to talk to the Division of Family Service.  They would not be please (I hope anyway) that someone is making it difficult for you to see your child.  DFS are the people who need to see your report.

Vicki


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That which does not kill you makes you stronger-Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich must of had apnea.

MrsBaddawg wrote:

I have a special needs child that was put into foster care when my apnea symptoms got so bad I could no longer care for her. Unfortunately, she was not placed with an actual foster family, she was placed with anyone who would take her. She lives with a woman who doesn't care about her, just wants the check for having her. Today, because I said I can't pick her up until 9am for my visit tomorrow, she started in on me about my imagined medical problem and how I'm selfish and don't care about my daughter at all. She wanted me to pick her up at 7am, but I can't function then unless I stay up til then, which I'm not sure I could. She says I'm just making this all up because I want to be lazy and not care for my own daughter.   I can't wait until I can show her my report!

I would complain to the agency that placed her with that woman. Say you are not happy with her. Or can you put her in a care facility till you can get your health undercontrol. I know what you are going through, I am having a tuff time as well getting my health undercontrol and it is very hard to take care of my son who also has special needs. I also have Narcolepsy and it makes it really hard. I am not alowed to drive and so on. I had to hire a mommies helper, The state also pays half of the money sense she is certified with the state and my husband work has child reimbursement.

Could you hire someone to help you, to get her back with you?


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Severe Central & Obstructive Sleep disordered breathing
AHI:116.4
Lowest Sat 85% High96.1%
Total Central,Obst,& mixed 190/hr
Out of that total 66 were Hypopneas
IpapMin7 max16 Epap6
Bipap Auto SV
Resmed Mirage Swift II

I'm sorry baddawg...you are doing all you can.

I wonder how many of us on here have children w/special needs?!  It seems unusual.
My son (w/special needs) is the one who has apnea--not myself.  He is having a birthday this weekend--he'll be 25 on sunday.  I am trying to get my mind off this new diagnosis of severe CSA w/cheyne-stokes so I can just enjoy and celebrate his life.  I want him to have a great week-end, and I don't want to waste time w/worry that distracts me from loving him.  He is such a joy.

Give your kids hugs!

Unfortunately, with the severe problems my daughter has, the county was just happy to have ANYONE take her. When I've had problems like this with this person the county always takes her side. Also, where I live, once a child is out of their parents home, it's almost impossible for a parent to get them back. Unless the child is unmanageable in foster care. Then they "stick them" (county's words, not mine) back with the parents. I was just on the phone with this person again and now she says she has cancer and she thinks I'd better quit faking it because her illness is actually life-threatening.   First of all, she's the one we KNOW has made things up before and second, how is mine not life-threatening? I'm being choked dozens of times a night! I'll definitely show the social workers my report, but I don't think it'll do much good. Unless I can prove I'm good-as-new, there's not much hope my daughter will be anywhere but with this person.

MrsBaddawg wrote:

Unfortunately, with the severe problems my daughter has, the county was just happy to have ANYONE take her. When I've had problems like this with this person the county always takes her side. Also, where I live, once a child is out of their parents home, it's almost impossible for a parent to get them back. Unless the child is unmanageable in foster care. Then they "stick them" (county's words, not mine) back with the parents. I was just on the phone with this person again and now she says she has cancer and she thinks I'd better quit faking it because her illness is actually life-threatening.   First of all, she's the one we KNOW has made things up before and second, how is mine not life-threatening? I'm being choked dozens of times a night! I'll definitely show the social workers my report, but I don't think it'll do much good. Unless I can prove I'm good-as-new, there's not much hope my daughter will be anywhere but with this person.

I just don't understand how a child can be taken away because of OSA. Did someone report that you were not able to do this by your self, or did you ask for the help? I just could not imagine being with out my son or daughter. I feel your pain. I just made every effort to make sure I got the help from all my family and friends and by hiring the so called mommies helper, I am able to do what I need to do. How long have you been on your treatment? Do you feel any better at all sense starting?


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Severe Central & Obstructive Sleep disordered breathing
AHI:116.4
Lowest Sat 85% High96.1%
Total Central,Obst,& mixed 190/hr
Out of that total 66 were Hypopneas
IpapMin7 max16 Epap6
Bipap Auto SV
Resmed Mirage Swift II

I was only dx with mild OSA with centrals 6 years ago. I have a followup sleep study on Sept. 30th. My PCP thinks I'm now in the severe category, but we'll see. So, no treatment yet. What happened was, I have no family to speak of and my friends can't deal with her, so I ended up asking for respite help from the county. That got the ball rolling, and as I progressively got worse, I couldn't really care for her anymore. Her special needs are all behavioral, to the extreme. I mean EXTREME. Things no parent should ever deal with. Still don't know what causes the behaviors either. I have 3 other children and none of them have ever acted like she does. IDK, I'll just take it a step at a time. First things first, bite my tongue to this person until I get my sleep study done, I guess.

(((hugs))), MrsBD. I have a special needs son. He is 47 now and in an adult foster home. Fortunately, his special needs were not behavioral but that doesn't lessen the heartbreak of having to make such a decision. I originally asked for help from Catholic Family Service. BIG MISTAKE! You are so right, once these agencies get their mitts on a child rots of ruck getting them back. He's since been placed in a state run adult foster home and he's doing well. We've been very lucky in that respect as all are not as good as his. God bless you and your daughter!

No way in h*ll I would show that woman my sleep report. I would notify the county that this woman has now said that she has cancer. She may be found unfit to care for your daughter due to her cancer needs.


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Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Resmed VPAP Auto. Humidaire 3i, Simplicity & Micro masks, ResScan 3.4, S8 ResLink, Embla oximeter.

I found out this morning that she did lie about cancer. She just wanted me to pick up my daughter so early so she could go to Great America today. And I"M the one that's faking and selfish!


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"Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together."- Thomas Dekker