My husband is in the process of going through the sleep clinic and testing and all of that but the doctor feels positive it is sleep apnea. I am exhausted. There are times he stops breathing for a moment during the night and the snoring is unbearable. Last night I got only two hours of sleep and as a diabetic I need my sleep or my sugar goes wacko and my emotions fall apart. I want to be supportive but I am so miserable from lack of sleep. What can I do? I have tried sleeping in the livingroom .... I still hear him and can't sleep. I have tried ear plugs...no good. I have even tried my walkman with loud music ... no dice. I feel so guilty because I feel like I am not being supportive enough. Any suggestions or inights would be appreciated.

Can i suggest that you spend a week at a relaxation resort (if you can afford it). You might be able to get heaps of sleep. See my mum was in the same boat until my dad got treatment. But he worked night shift so on his nights at work mum would sleep like a baby. Or have you ever considered working at night and sleeping during the day....that might work too.

Hi Mom,

Taking a vacation is a great idea.  I would also suggest you learn all you can about OSA and become an advocate for your husband to make sure he gets the fastest and best treatment possible.

I understand your concerns as a diabetic.  It is an analogy I use when describing OSA because if we don't use our CPAPs every time we sleep, we are at increased risk for heart attack, stroke, weight gain, depression, fatigue, headaches, car accidents, etc.  It might be helpful to you if your husband slept on a wedge.  Sometimes elevating the head can help a little, but I'm not guaranteeing anything.

Let us know how things go and send him this way!

Vicki


_________________
That which does not kill you makes you stronger-Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich must of had apnea.

  Huge thank yous to each of you!! All of your ideas are excellent and will look into them for sure. I think we had a big breakthrough last night - a very positive one indeed. When I finally went to be my husband had been in bed an hour and a half earlier. I was stunned that he was still awake. What surprised me more was his candor with me. He was afraid to go to sleep. he was afraid to sleep if I was not there because I would not know if he stopped breathing. That was so helpful to me!

For one thing I knew how to pray for him. I was also able to find a point of "compassion" a point that I could use to remind myself he needs me right now and he needs my support and my help in this. This helped me distance from the frustration I have been feeling.

This morning I woke up feeling horrible. So my feet did not hit the floor until I prayed my way through it and just spent some quiet reflective time. I am amazed at the strength and peace and rest this brought me. It has been so restorative for me.

So that is my plan: When he is at work and I am home I am going to take these little "mini retreats" right at home. Phone off, cell off. I have also kept the news and anything that is emotionally draining off and out of my midst.

I also got ahold of a friend and booked some 'play' time before I go in to work tonight.

And I will have my husband contact either my Pastor or our Doctor and talk about the fear and try to resolve it a little.

Thanks again for the support and ideas and I am going to stay connected to this site and to the info on it as much as I can.

Momofjoy - A.K.A. Barb

hi. I am a reporter for the NY Times looking for wives to talk to regarding the impact of snoring on relationships. I am talking to people who are in just your situation. Would you mind e-mailing me, if you would like to talk. alvarez@nytimes.com. Thanks so much. lizette

Momofjoy wrote:

My husband is in the process of going through the sleep clinic and testing and all of that but the doctor feels positive it is sleep apnea. I am exhausted. There are times he stops breathing for a moment during the night and the snoring is unbearable. Last night I got only two hours of sleep and as a diabetic I need my sleep or my sugar goes wacko and my emotions fall apart. I want to be supportive but I am so miserable from lack of sleep. What can I do? I have tried sleeping in the livingroom .... I still hear him and can't sleep. I have tried ear plugs...no good. I have even tried my walkman with loud music ... no dice. I feel so guilty because I feel like I am not being supportive enough. Any suggestions or inights would be appreciated.

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